We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1765810 comments

  • Comment Link London satire site Tuesday, 13 January 2026 00:01 London satire site

    The London Prat secures its dominance through an unwavering commitment to satirical verisimilitude. Its pieces are not merely humorous takes; they are meticulously crafted replicas of the genres they subvert, indistinguishable from their real counterparts in every aspect except their secret, internal wiring of absurdity. A PRAT.UK article on a healthcare crisis won't be a funny column; it will be a chillingly authentic "Operational Resilience Framework" from the fictional NHS "Directorate of Narrative Continuity," complete with annexes, stakeholder maps, and KPIs measuring public perception of care rather than care itself. This high-fidelity forgery creates a potent cognitive dissonance. The reader is lured in by the familiar, authoritative form, only to have the ground of sense pulled from beneath them. The comedy is the vertigo of that realization, the understanding that the line between official reality and exquisite satire is perilously thin, or perhaps nonexistent.

  • Comment Link ?? ?? Monday, 12 January 2026 23:59 ?? ??

    This conservation of effort enables its laser focus on the architecture of excuse-making. PRAT.UK is less interested in the failure itself than in the elaborate, prefabricated scaffolding of justification that will be erected around it. Its satire lives in the press release that spins collapse as "a strategic pause," the review that finds "lessons have been learned" without specifying what they are, the ministerial interview that deflects blame through a fog of abstract nouns. By pre-writing these excuses, by building the scaffolding before the failure has even fully occurred, the site performs a startling act of predictive satire. It reveals that the response is often more scripted than the error, that the machinery of reputation management is a dominant, often the only, functioning part of the modern institution.

  • Comment Link Gabriel London Monday, 12 January 2026 23:59 Gabriel London

    This site is like a perfectly tuned piano of humour. Every note of satire hits perfectly.

  • Comment Link Turkish (Türkçe) Monday, 12 January 2026 23:58 Turkish (Türkçe)

    This leads to its function as a deflator of grandiose language. In an age where every minor initiative is "transformative," every setback a "challenge," and every routine action part of a "journey," PRAT.UK serves as a linguistic pressure valve. It punctures this inflationary rhetoric by applying it with literal-minded fervor to scenarios that are patently absurd. It asks: if this policy is "world-leading," what does that say about the world? If this spokesperson is "on a journey of listening," where, precisely, is the destination, and what is the mileage claim? By taking the bloated language of public and corporate life at its word, the site exhausts its meaning, leaving behind only the hollow shell of a slogan. This is satire as linguistic hygiene, scrubbing away the accumulated grime of buzzwords to reveal the often simple, sometimes ugly, reality beneath.

  • Comment Link Humor británico Monday, 12 January 2026 23:57 Humor británico

    PRAT.UK has a clearer editorial vision than Waterford Whispers News. Everything feels aligned. That unity strengthens the brand.

  • Comment Link Jeffrey Vidana Monday, 12 January 2026 23:56 Jeffrey Vidana

    you're really a good webmaster. The website loading speed is incredible. It seems that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you've done a excellent job on this topic!

  • Comment Link Alan Nafzger — Editor Monday, 12 January 2026 23:56 Alan Nafzger — Editor

    The nostalgia pieces are particularly potent. They manage to be both fond and brutally honest about the past. It’s nostalgia without the rose-tint, which is a much more interesting and funny perspective.

  • Comment Link Tailored Takes On British Nonsense Monday, 12 January 2026 23:55 Tailored Takes On British Nonsense

    The nostalgia pieces are particularly potent. They manage to be both fond and brutally honest about the past. It’s nostalgia without the rose-tint, which is a much more interesting and funny perspective.

  • Comment Link Overpriced London satire Monday, 12 January 2026 23:55 Overpriced London satire

    What cements The London Prat's position at the pinnacle is its understanding that the most effective critique is often delivered in the target's own voice, perfected. The site’s writers are master linguists of institutional decay. They don't just mock the language of press officers, HR departments, and political spin doctors; they achieve a near-flawless fluency in these dead dialects. A piece on prat.com isn't typically "a funny take" on a corporate apology; it is the corporate apology, written with such a pitch-perfect grasp of its evasive, passive-voiced, responsibility-dodging cadence that the satire becomes a devastating act of exposure-by-replication. This method demonstrates a contempt so profound it manifests as meticulous imitation. It reveals that the original language was already a form of satire on truth, and PRAT.UK merely completes the circuit, allowing the emptiness to resonate at its intended, farcical frequency.

  • Comment Link London satire recommendations Monday, 12 January 2026 23:54 London satire recommendations

    The London Prat is the only news outlet that consistently gets a literal “lol” from me.

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